The Message

Two horses, one black and one white, ran free from all masters except for the light.
A message from God is one that they carry follow the book and you won't grow wary.
Tales of people like you and like me, followed the light and then they were free.
A map drawn for all to follow, leads us away from the dark, pitted hallow.

Time has come for all to stand, with heads held high, out of the sand.
Help your neighbors down the street, clothes for their back and food to eat.
Houses for all to sleep every night, leaving them homeless is just not right.
Human kind will never last as long as we ignorantly repeat the past.

A caste system is what holds us all down, ensuring the rich run the town.
Monopolies on water, energy and air, hidden fees and high prices are really not fair.
Cars and clothes, the things we need, prices are raised inflated by greed.
Charging your brother for information you know, leaves them stagnate unable to grow.

Powerful and mighty to us you have shown, how does it feel being there all alone?
A greedy little trek to the top you have made, I have seen a near future where all that will fade.
How you treat the people below, ensures your fortune will grow.
What if they did not participate in your selfish game, forgo ed your fruit and your shame?

Blood being shed, lived being lost will be your curse to bear no matter the cost.
This is not the way God intended us to be, we are the people the land of the free.
Open your hearts, flood them with love, give us nudge not a push or a shove.
Educate all to stand up with pride, stand with your neighbor side by side.

You say natural selection weeds out the weak, but the earth will be left to the powerless and meek.
The ladder you climb is so big and tall, be careful tho lest you fall.
Fall to the bottom, left to find a new way, the nicer you were the brighter your day.


Written in 2010

I AM: A Journey

I am a child of light, a sad reflection of a spike piercing His flesh into a splintering cross.
From my reluctant lips,pour many confessions.
Through spiritual death and divine intervention, I have emerged.
Whispered prayers carried on a roaring wind, heard and answered.

I am of Gaelic ancestral traditions, May baskets presented to denoted summers entrance.
Leprechauns clad in red velvet garb, promising gold and fortunes of large.
Impish ways were my souls birthright, a pale complexion and unearthly foresight.

I am from a mom and a dad whose marriage could not survive the unknowing of oneself and complacent lies.
From this union, two innocent souls arise, dedicated to Christ so they might survive.

I am from an insane cycle of uneducated truths, leaving me heated, battered and bruised.
From mother to daughter each generation passed acceptance of self replaced with a man.
A man with strong arms, and the age of our dads, parading his bonnies all over the land.

I am born of innocence and delivered to wolves, my heart bleeds poison of endless black holes.
The scares on my skin serve to remind me of rats stalking prey by the smell of naivety.

I am of camouflaged war games disguised with a tale, a protector of Americans trained not to fail.
From spit of a Sergeant, and miles afoot, a soldier replaced a feeble female gone aloof.
Integrity and honor now navigate my journey, understanding of diversity and higher learning.

I am a nurturing mother, one that has lost, lessons to be learned at a very high cost.
Through defiant tears and unwedded sin, a son to me is born for us to begin again.
Years on our own, and two husbands pass, my son and I meet our family at last.
Two beautiful babes entrusted to me, sums my count to a glorious three.

I am betrothed by my Father above, to the man of my dreams, the one that I love.
Together we conquer ghosts from the past, to build a foundation, one that will last.
Our souls entwined in a loving embraced, guide me to take my rightful place.






This is a writing from 2010.

Oh How He Loves Us

In my devotional today I am reminded that God is always available to us. All we have to do is call upon Him. Over the past couple of weeks since the kids have been gone I have felt like He has been  gone from my life when I have needed Him most. It reminds me of a poem that I have always cherished and kept near and dear to my heart.

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

What the author has really relayed to me as the reader in this poem is that during my darkest times The Lord is carrying me and that I am not really alone. My devotional has given some scripture on how He is always with us.

  Though the mountains be shaken

    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

Isaiah 54:10

I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. Genesis 28:15

Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20

We can see from these scriptures that He promises no matter what is happening in our lives he is always with us. 

I was christened as a baby and so I know the Holy Spirit has always been with me guiding me and teaching me and protecting me from my stupid decisions. I may not have always consciously had God with me but my parents had made the decision to keep me protected and turn me over to God so I feel no matter what I went through in life I always had the Holy Spirit to give me a Higher insight even if I did not quite understand what was going on. When I joined the Army in 2003 I chose to get baptized on my own and consciously started learning about spiritual matters and making my free will choices by educating myself on religions with the help of the Holy Spirit. I made some  choices and learned about Wicca, Mormonism, Catholicism, Paganism Hinduism and many other spiritual beliefs before finding that only one way said that the only way to the Father is through the Son and that was Christianity so I figured if I wanted to get to God I better follow that one way. It has been a beautiful journey and I have learned so much and know now more than ever that no matter where my free will choices take me that He loves us and He waits patiently and pursues us diligently to get us on his team. He forgives us with gentle mercy no matter what we do and comforts us during our darkest times. All we have to do is ask. I love my God, Our Father in Heaven just as if He were sitting right here next to me and pray that you do to. Maybe this is your first experience reading about Him and I invite you to ask Him into your heart. He doesn't want you to be alone. All it takes is saying I believe that Jesus died for my sins and you will go through the change. He will be there for you too. Something my husband always says to nonbelievers is If your right and there is no God you have nothing to lose but if I am right and there is a God then you have everything to lose. So let's just assume I am right and there is a God and He wants to be in relationship with you and He loves you and lets have you ask Him into your heart today. 

First Signs of Fall

Summer is fading away into fall. Off in the distance I can hear the kids practicing their music in band at school and their giggling and laughter as they pass between classes. I can feel the crispness of the morning telling me that summer will soon be a distant memory and the beauty of my favorite season will soon be here to beguile our eyes as winter creeps up on us. I found my first fall leaf this week to give me a sneak peek of what our autumn colors will be like.

Summer went by so fast with a vacation to South Dakota while taking the kids to Montana. We saw Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota which was under construction but still held a lot of charm.

                                                      Designs on outside of Corn Palace

                                                           This is all made of corn

Me acting silly

The family acting silly

We had a lot of fun there. Next we moved on to Wall South Dakota where we ate and spent the night and did a little window shopping. Everyone took pictures with the famous cowboy or sexy lady.

                                                                       Dani

                                                                      Devon

                                                                         Darrell

Me

Next we went to Mount Rushmore, which we were all more than stunned by. We could not believe the magnitude of the faces carved in the mountain. 

Darrell and the kids at Rushmore

We really missed having Alex on this little road trip with us but he had already started school so even though it was fun it was bittersweet. :( But the good thing is that during the summer we had lots of fun watching Alex ride his dirt bike as he races motocross with his dad and little brother Kellin. They are the mighty trio on those things. 

This summer we had the pleasure of watching Alex and Kellin race two races in Humboldt, Iowa. They were awesome! It is so fun to participate in the racing culture. You go to the races and set up a tent and are there all day. The run two motos( hopefully I spelled that right) and then they average out the heats to see the winner. Some of the more advanced racers can really jump their dirt bikes high.

                                                                      Alex

                                                                    Alex in action

Coming around the corner

We also had a family reunion this summer on the Martin side. I had not seen this side of my family in over 10 years so it was a great pleasure to get to see these people and get to catch up and hear old stories. We had an enjoyable afternoon with the family.

The Martin siblings. My dad is on the right side

We had a visit from my sister in law Trudy who I bonded with like a real sister. I have always wanted a sister so I finally got one after 38 years off life. We had some fun times with her hanging out talking, going on drives, visiting a cemetary, looking a Iowa sites, talking about God. It was really a great time.

                                                               Awesome headstone

Darrell and Trudy

Our summer was packed full of fun adventures going to all of the town celebrations and seeing parades and spending time together as a family. I really loved this summer more than any other because I was close to my family.

Trust in The Lord

Sometimes when we go through tough times it it easy to just give in to the devil and give into our struggle. My biggest struggle these days has been with the addiction to cigarettes. I have pled with The Lord through prayer to release me from my addiction and I have come up with and affirmation to assist me in this fight. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13. I say this every time I want to light up a cigarette. Sometimes I still light up and other times I wait.

I have been receiving great encouragement from people who see me trying to quit and are praying for me or offering nice words to me. This helps. What does not help is the beating myself up because I have not been able to achieve my goal. I am scared I will never be able to quit. I am afraid that I will always be a smoker.

My devotional today told me today to trust in The Lord. I may not have quit today but He is working on me. I must have faith when I pray that He has heard my prayer and is answering it. Sometimes these things take time and I need to have trust.

Proverbs 3:5,6 says Trust in The Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.

I trust and believe with all of my heart that God will release me from this addiction and I will be a nonsmoker. I just have to have patience and keep my faith.


God Bless
B

Daily Devotions

My sister in law and husband bought me a daily devotional because I have been going through a tough time since my three kids have gone to live with their other parents. I have been trying to rely on my relationship with God to get me through these trials. As I was reading my devotion for today it told me to rely on Him even when my life feels out of balance. With three kids missing my life feels really out of balance but the good thing is I know I can rely on my Lord to give me strength and courage to face each day. 

Last night my sister in law shared a story about her mother in law who quit chewing gum because she put it in her mouth before she even thanked God for waking her that day.  So it reminded me this morning to thank God for waking me and giving me life. 

Today I just want to take a moment to thank The Lord for giving me the strength and courage and the breath of life to go through this day. It may not be the day that I dreamed of but it was a day given to me by The Lord. 

This is a day The Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118: 24

Labor Day Parade

One of the many charming pleasures of living in a small town is that there is always something going on in one of the surrounding small towns if not in your own. For Labor Day, Kanawha had a parade which was a lot of fun. My husband, son, sister in law Trudy and my parents all went to enjoy the event in the neighboring town.

There were people lined up on both sides of the street anxiously awaiting the start of the parade which always begins with the police and the Vets carrying the flag.  All the surrounding towns put their fire trucks in the parade so if there is a fire I don't know what would happen. lol. Seriously it's only one of them. Many churches have floats and inspire people to get on fire for the Lord.

But you should see the bag of candy my son brought home. He got so much candy. They throw candy from almost every entry in the parade and it is a big deal to get this candy. If you wave at them and are super friendly, you can leave with a lot of loot so of course I put on all my charm so my son can have all kinds of candy. (just what he needs)

Some of my favorite parade entries are the old cars. These old cars run better and look better and are safer than the cars we have out on the road today. I love old cars. So does my dad.  I love listening to my dads stories about his old cars back in his prime.

I love small town life. There is always something going on and the people are so friendly. Communities still get to gather to celebrate and know one another. When I lived in the city this did not happen. In fact I rarely knew my neighbor let alone celebrated with them.

God is so good.

God Bless!
B